So I haven’t been to my website in a while. Life has been happening and blogging has been hard to keep top priority. But I wanted to share some exciting news that all of the people who know me, already know. But I’m engaged! DECEMBER 28, 2014 MY BEST FRIEND, SHANE COOK, ASKED ME FOR MY HAND IN MARRIAGE AND I CRIED AND SAID “YES!”
Now being engaged hasn’t been the easiest. I thought it was supposed to be all rainbows and daisies, but it’s not. I guess you could say I like to see life through “rose colored glasses,” and when things don’t go how I envision or how I’ve seen in movies I tend to have meltdowns. I let my emotions drive me more than I should and I let the negative thoughts get to me.
But that’s life, my life and I’m working on it. But the best part is that I get to work on it with the man that I love. There have been moments where I think, “Is he the one,” “Should I do this?” “Do I really love him enough?” “Will I ever be good enough for him?” “He deserves better” etc. And I’ve learned I’m not the only one who’s had these thoughts. They’re normal. It’s a big decision, but it’s just that. It’s simple. It’s a choice. It’s not an emotion. You choose to love and you get to choose who you love. It’s been a lesson I’ve had to learn because I just think life is supposed to be like movies, but that’s not the case.
Don’t believe what you watch in movies, because they’ll spoil your thoughts of the “perfection in a relationship.” Don’t get me wrong, there are things that are amazing, but be careful of those red flags, don’t stay with someone if they don’t lift you up, encourage you, and just beat you down (both emotionally and physically) But remember God created us messy. We are all unique, we’re all broken and the purpose in marriage is to complement each other and to work together to glorify God. It’s something I’ve learned and something I keep remembering each time I wonder, “what if there’s someone else?”
I know that last sentence might have punched you in the gut, but it’s an honest question that I’m sure many people ask themselves as they plan to marry someone. And it’s something I talked with Shane about. It was something I talked with our premarital coaches about. And it was a question I asked myself and the answer I got was this: Yes, there are other people, there are billions of people and I could marry any of them and Shane could marry any of them. But he’s not and I’m not, back in February 2014 I choose to love this man and he choose to love me. So whether we work on our relationship together or with someone else, the truth is you’ll always have to work on it. And I’m thankful that God blessed me with someone so patient, loving, kind, understanding, strong, sensitive, humble, helpful, selfless and Godly. Someone who goes out of his way to serve me, to make me feel special, and to encourage me when I feel defeated.
The truth is there isn’t “the one.” God doesn’t promise the perfect marriage, He doesn’t promise happiness but, He does promise joy. And there have been tons of moments that Shane and I have argued, fought and have been so heated that we just need to take a break from each other, and I’m not going to lie, it’s worried me, a lot. But going through premarital counseling, we’ve learned that communication is key. And it’s something most couples lack and why divorce runs ramped. We tend to give up when we aren’t understood or feel disrespected, we shut down, and we hide. So talking to each other more, learning how to communicate and learning our boundaries in our relationship has made the world of a difference.
People forget that life isn’t perfect and that includes love. The only perfect love or endless love comes from our Heavenly Father. And when you make Him the center of your relationship, it makes a big difference. I know it’s helped Shane and I, even when we get off track and get caught up in work, wedding planning, or just life, making sure we make it to church, do our devotionals and talking about our Savior always brings us back together.
So the truth is, being engaged has been amazing, it’s been scary, it’s been exciting picking out a wedding dress, finding a “future home” etc. with Shane, and it’s been exhausting, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world and I wouldn’t trade Shane for anyone else.
God has shown me when you have people in your lives that love you so unconditionally you never let them go.
Just remember when you’re engaged, it’s okay to be scared, but don’t let the enemy drive a wedge between you and your future spouse, because the one thing the Devil hates is seeing two people coming together for the common good to spread the love of God.
I can’t wait to marry the man of my dreams on May 24, 2015. I know it won’t be perfect, but knowing I get to spend this lifetime with my best friend, exploring life, loving Christ, and serving others together is the best feeling in the entire world.